God....please tell me what should i do? I really can't stand it anymore....and i really wonder how long would i survive???? Maybe i'm too weak and sensitive with everything that are happening around me...but what should i do...should i just ignore everything and pretend nothing happened? But how can i ignore it? I'm not dead...i'm really frustrated now. I even vent all my frustration on a poor little volly ball during PJ lessons hahaha...thats what Chua taught me to do ^^ but my hands are seriously painfull after doing that....so i think that is not a good idea...hmmm
Everyone including family members and friends told me to forget and ignore everythings that happened but i really can't do it....whenever i think about it...tears will start to roll down from my eyes....i really hate myself for going through all this...but i have no choice as all this are already written in the book of life. But none of you have been through this....no one will understand what i feel right now....only God knows. What do he want somemore....i really don't have the intention to compare my marks with him....all i want is to acheive all A's in my trial exam...but why do he still want to compare with me....he is already so smart and intelligent and defeating me in most of the subjects....isn't that enough?? Or you want me to die in front of you and vanish in this world only you will be satisfied??
Be strong....be strong....this is the word that i keep reminding myself....but can i do it? I really don't know...God please help me....
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